WHAT I LEARNED THIS WEEK: Catalog copy is no picnic

I spent far, far too many hours this week writing catalog copy for my fall ‘09 Del Rey titles. Yes, I know that the catalog is our reps’ most important selling tool. Yes, I realize that booksellers refer to it for vital publication info. Yes, I should be happy that so many good books will reach the reading public next fall. I merely comment on how much time out of my day (days plural, in this case) writing good catalog copy seems to take.

Maybe it would be easier if I pretended to be selling women’s clothing. “New hardcover with alluring blue jacket spectacularly emblazoned with gold foil, just the right length, accessorizes with every outfit to take you from morning into night.”

Or kitchen appliances. I’ve read enough copy about appliances to think I could make that work: “This original trade paperback adapts to every kitchen situation. Can be read while waiting for water to boil, snapping green beans, stirring sauces, even peeling potatoes. Mixes one saucy heroine and one hunk of beefcake into a spicy casserole of love.”

Oog, that’s terrible. I like to think I did a better job on the copy for my upcoming books, which include A Princess of Landover, the first new novel in Terry Brooks’s Magic Kingdom of Landover series in almost 15 years; In Great Waters by Kit Whitfield, whose debut novel Benighted cast a whole new light on the werewolf mythos; the first issues of a four-color graphic novel adaptation of Stephen King and Peter Straub’s gripping novel The Talisman, and many more.

For another fun take on writing catalog copy, try “Selections from H.P. Lovecraft’s Brief Tenure as a Whitman’s Sampler Copywriter,” courtesy of McSweeney’s. “Few men dare ask the question ‘What is toffee, exactly?’ All those who have investigated this subtance are now either dead or insane….”