“Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God made the heaven and the earth and the Zombies sprang forth from the roiling foam of creation, barking in uncontrollable rage, hungry for human flesh to eat and pestork (…)”
Who doesn’t remember the above passage from? Perhaps you were in your religious-oriented daycare of choice, the sun shone through the windows illuminating the glossy wooden floor of your classroom, and the story of the Earth’s creation and the first zombie horde, as read by a kindly [fill in your religion and/or denomination of choice] educator, filled your ears.
Well, okay, perhaps it didn’t go down like that. In fact, I’m sure that it didn’t, as that particular bible hadn’t been created yet. But it is now, and you can help. Over the past few months we’ve seen public domain books get a zombie workover, such as the immensely successful and now-published Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Now, it’s the Bible’s turn.
The Zombie Bible is being compiled Wiki-style by viewers like you. Of course, you’re free to just pop on by and read it as well. But a word of warning, while I haven’t found any pictures on the site, you should be advised that some of the material isn’t exactly safe for work*.
After the jump, you’ll find a few samples of what can be found on the site. If you’re interested, I encourage you to hop on over and have a look.
A fan of Psalms? They are quite poetic (some of 'em). If so, then perhaps you'll enjoy the new enhanced versions:
"Psalms 1:1 Blessed is the man that shuffleth not in the gait of the zombies, nor standeth and stareth at nothing in the way of zombies, nor eateth the brains of the scornful."
Is the Old Testament more your style? Who can blame you? I can't. But wait until you see what happens to your favorite stories when a little of the undead are added:
"Song of Solomon 1:6 Look not upon me, because I am dead, because the sun hath not looked upon me: my mother's children were angry with me; they made me the keeper of their vineyards; so I ate their brains."
And then there's the New Testament, now with new lessons to be learned:
"Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the meek: for their brains shall be eaten first."
The site is called the Stinque Zombie Bible and if you're at all interested, then clicking the link will take you there. Oh Zombies, where might you pop up next?
* Do I really need to say this?
Leave a comment