Aristotle once coined the general principle of holism as: “The whole is more than the sum of its parts.”
It can be great fun, however, analyzing the parts!
Where do the parts that comprise you come from?
Where did the parts that make up Shawn Charlton Speakman come from?
I am extremely self aware of who I am—at least who I think I am. Every daily event I have experienced in life has become a part of me. From birth until my last breath, I know that I will be shaped by anyone and everything. It is inevitable. That includes the books I read too. In a way the authors I’ve read over the years have taken up residence in my soul and, like the guiding influence of my parents when I was young, live inside of me, to be called on when needed.
It’s no wonder I love collecting those books that are most meaningful to me.
What characters in fantasy / science fiction best explain who you are?
Here are the main four I can definitively say reside inside:
Superman
No, no father of mine gave his son away, to rocket through the cosmos and help bring light to a barbaric humanity.
That would be cool though, right?
In all seriousness, the majority of who I am can be explained by Clark Kent and how he sheds all selfish desires to help others less fortunate. I try to emulate that. When a friend needs help I am there offering what I can. If a stranger falls down in front of me, I help them up if I don’t catch them first. When a wheelchair-bound man tries to belly up to the bar, I clear away the stools before the bartender can do it. I spend a lot of time and energy putting people at ease, to add a meaningful dialogue with all I meet whether it is talking about sports or giving heartfelt listening and advice.
I try to be a hero for other people who need it, even for what seems the most mundane of needs.
I have always held those ideals, from my earliest memories. But Superman became something more to me when I was diagnosed with cancer almost nine years ago. I began chemotherapy just like many thousands do every day. To represent the strength I would need to survive, I wore one of three Superman t-shirts to treatment every day. It brought a smile to those being infused around me; it kept me focused on the strength I would have to bring to bear.
Needless to say, there is a Man of Steel in my persona—despite looking like Lex Luthor on the outside!
Thomas Covenant
Thomas Covenant, the driving character in three series written by Stephen R. Donaldson, is one of the more controversial characters in the fantasy genre. He is an anti-hero, a leper who is coldly cynical of a world that reviles him and yet savior of a different world, called the Land.
As an eighth grader, I was a jock, grades-wise I was one of the top in my class, and I loved to read. I also had a horrible case of eczema on my legs and feet. Kids can be quite mean at that age; I garnered a great deal of ridicule for it.
My teacher, hoping to challenge me and unwittingly giving me a hero, gave me Lord Foul's Bane to read.
I grew attached to the character of Thomas Covenant. We had a great deal in common. I felt like a leper, an outcast, unclean. Like Thomas Covenant, my own disease made me a tough old bastard at a young age.
It didn't help matters that I hit the floor while playing high school basketball and broke the right two bones of my right hand—creating a half-hand like Covenant's for a few weeks.
Later I realized I am closer to Superman than Thomas Covenant—I want to see the best in people and see them succeed. But Donaldson's character and the white gold ring I wear reminds me every day what not to become.
Whether I like it or not, Covenant will always be a part of me.
Roland Deschain
The last gunslinger fighting his way to gain the Dark Tower and save a dying world, Roland is the epitome of tenacity. He has an indomitable will that can overcome any threat posed to his quest. Stephen King created an unforgettable character in Roland, one who will be remembered long after King has shuffled off his mortal coil.
Like myself, Roland is a flawed character. While he is to be commended for letting nothing stop him from achieving the Dark Tower, he is also quite selfish in that pursuit. He is willing to sacrifice anything to gain his goal—including allowing his friends to die if need be. His overwhelming drive is a dark one, an unending one, and death will come to all of those who stand in his way as well as stand with him.
There is a reason why I have two Michael Whelan paintings hanging in my home, one of which is over my desk. Both feature Roland with the Dark Tower in the background. Both show the gunslinger looking longingly at his prize from a great many miles away. I feel these images showcase my own efforts to achieve my dream of being a published writer.
I am Roland. Publication is my Dark Tower.
Warranted, I don't let my friends and family die, but they do sacrifice time while I sit pounding the keyboard keys. I have passed up lucrative jobs because they would stop me from walking along a beam to my Dark Tower.
Every morning I am reminded that I must be like Roland Deschain—able to sacrifice the things around me to achieve my dream.
Look deeply into my eyes.
You'll see Roland staring back.
Temeraire
This choice surprised me. The more I thought about it, however, the more I confronted who I am and saw a parallel.
If an author has done a great job in their craft, dragons are often alien to readers, their thoughts a bit different than our own. Naomi Novik has done such a job. Temeraire is a dragon in the British aerial corp during the Napoleonic Wars, a flying killing machine who hatches at the beginning of His Majesty's Dragon and quickly begins learning about the world surrounding him.
At times Temeraire is naive like any newborn. But his ignorance in the world is a boon; his friend and rider, Lawrence, has his eyes opened to various problems he otherwise just takes for granted. Naomi Novik has created a magical and wonderful character in Temeraire, one with all too human traits but who views the world in a different way.
I identify with that.
I think it is extremely important to never lose that childlike wonder of viewing the world with new eyes, seeing problems from new angles. Otherwise how will we know what is possible?
Without a sense of wonder there is no adventure, after all.
Superman, Thomas Covenant, Roland Deschain and Temeraire. These four characters are prominent in who I am. Aspects of each reside within, lending me their particular strengths. I am of course a unique person but ignoring these elements of my past would only deceive who I truly am.
One must know the parts to know the whole, in my opinion.
Who or what makes up your whole?
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