Halloween is just around the corner, and what better reason to learn something about mummies! Did you know that, in this day and age, you can have your own remains professionally mummified? Here’s an excerpt from Harold Schechter’s very informative (and hilarious) The Whole Death Catalog, explaining just how you can make it happen:
From The Whole Death Catalog: A Lively Guide to the Bitter End
You, Too, Can Be a Mummy
(And So Can Fido)
Have you always envied King Tut? Harbored a secret yen to be eviscerated, anointed in oil, and entirely swaddled in gauze? Dreamed of having your body discovered in a perfect state of preservation by archaeologists of the future? Thanks to the miracle of modern “mummification” pioneered by a company called Summum, that dream can now come true!
Summum was founded by a former aerobics instructor named Claude "Corky" Nowell, who subsequently became a licensed funeral director and legally changed his name to Summum Bonum Amon Ra, supposedly ancient Egyptian for "Worker of Creation." (His friends still call him "Corky.") Along with Salt Lake City mortician Ron Zefferer (who also adopted a moniker from Egyptian mythology and is now known as Ron Temu), Ra spent years developing a state-of-the-art "mummification" process. The two men began by experimenting on lower life forms before working their way up to Corky's pet cat (which had died of feline leukemia). Having finally perfected their technique, they patented their formula, set themselves up as professional "thanatogeneticists," and established their company, the world's first (and only) commercial mummification service.
Headquartered in a shining golden pyramid just five blocks from the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City, Summum offers what its advertising brochure describes as a "very thorough and gentle process that allows you to leave this life in as beautiful a manner as possible"--a process tagged with the trademarked phrase "eternal memorialization." A page on its very handsome Web site, (www.summum.org/mummification) supplies further details.
Once the deceased has been transported to Summum's mortuary cum temple in Salt Lake City, "the rites of Transference begin and are officiated as the body is bathed and cleansed. An incision is made to remove the internal organs. The organs are thoroughly cleansed and placed back in the body." The body is then "immersed in a baptismal font filled with a special preservation solution." After a period ranging from a week to a month--"long enough to achieve maximum penetration as the rites of Transference continue"--the body is "removed, cleansed again, then covered with a lotion." Next comes the wrapping in "several layers of cotton gauze," followed by the application of successive layers of polyurethane, fiberglass, and resin. Finally the mummy is encased within a custom-made casket called a Mummiform, which is then filled with "an amber resin, completely surrounding the mummy and protecting the perfection that has been created." The entire process requires a minimum of 120 days.
Needless to say, such elaborate postmortem ministrations don't come cheap. After noting that "the rites of mummification are something we would offer free of charge if we could," the folks at Summum point out that they "incur extensive costs" in preparing each mummy and therefore "suggest a donation" for anyone who wishes to undergo their procedure. The minimal cost is currently $67,000, though total expenses can amount to "well over a hundred thousand dollars," depending on the exact style of Mummiform one chooses to be encased within. (The simplest is a sleek, shiny capsule, though other, far more elaborate handcrafted models are available, including ones "inlaid with gold, ceramics, or jewels.") Little wonder that the customers who have so far signed up for "eternal memorialization" tend to be the rich and famous (including, according to one news story, Mohamed Al-Fayed, billionaire father of Princess Di's lover, Dodi.)
Want to read more? Buy The Whole Death Catalog here.
Leave a comment