Results tagged “horror movies”

What better way to celebrate Halloween than looking back at 20 years of Halloween episodes from The Simpsons? Let’s face it — watching sex-crazed teens get butchered is always a blast (thank you, John Carpenter), but sometimes you need something more! So let’s take a look at our favorite ten segments of The Simpsons’ “Treehouse of Horror” episodes.

Let’s get the ball rolling, starting with #10….

#10: Nightmare Cafeteria (ToH V)
One of the sickest Treehouse segments is a twisted riff on “Soylent Green” with the school finding misbehaving children to be the best source of meat for the cafeteria. And the “Chorus Line” song and dance number at the end remains a classic (“The family dog is eyeing Bart’s intestine….”).

Key Dialogue:
Lisa: Bart, does it strike you as odd that Uter disappeared and suddenly they’re serving us this mysterious food called “Uterbraten”?

Finally, Summer is ending. My apologies to those of you who relish and enjoy the season, but I’m excited for it to be over. There’s just too much to be excited about for the Fall.

Now, I’m jaded. I’ll admit I prefer Fall to Summer in every way. The weather, the colors, the smells*, the food (sure, you can make chili in summertime, but why would you?), the ability to wear sweaters. And Fall is when everything picks up again. Books, movies, television, events, we’re about to face another flood of them. Here’s some of what I’m looking forward to as we hike into the last few months of 2009.

Books

Death Troopers by Joe Schreiber (October)
(Click here for more details)

I’ll come clean. I’m a horror fan from nearly as far back as I can remember. To clarify, I’m a fan of horror fiction (I can’t do the movies though). Back in my high school days** as I was being barraged by reading assignments covering the Romantic poetry movement, or and endless array of long drawn out works, I nearly lost my interest in reading. Then I found Stephen King. It didn’t take long until I was raiding the county library and buying up paperbacks from genre racks near and far. But it was that first book, Tommyknockers that really gripped me. It intertwined horror and science fiction to make the story, equal parts Eureka and They Live, if you’re interested.

Well, Joe Schreiber will be taking horror to the Star Wars universe this fall and I’m excited to return to that particular part of the genre melting pot again. Schreiber is a writer who can turn a terse phrase and scare you with things happening on this world. I wonder (oh, how I do wonder), what he’s thought up for Death Troopers. We know there’s zombies. We know there’s Storm Troopers. But what happens when the two get together in deep space? Like you, I’ll find out next month. I can’t wait.

The Devil’s Alphabet by Daryl Gregory (November)
(Click here for more details)

His debut novel, Pandemonium, is the type of book you read and think, “Horsefeathers! This isn’t his first book!” Well, here he is again and I’m hoping for a similar ride. The brilliance of that first book, and what has me excited in the set up for this book, is that Gregory creates a world that is so very, very similar to ours. He just tweaks one thing here or there to set the stage and then his characters come forward and it isn’t long before you’re sucked in to the story, all sense of time gone, all hope of sleep abandoned as you push on for just one more page, just one more chapter.

That’s the kind of writer Daryl Gregory is. In this book, we come to a town that has been decimated by a mysterious virus. The virus has killed off a substantial portion of the population, mutated others, and occasionally left some residents alone. Or so it seems. Returning to this town is Paxton Abel Martin, who fled when he was 14 and the virus was raging at full tilt and fled town shortly thereafter. Paxton appears to be fine, but is he?

Here’s a bit from the book’s description that hooked me and vaulted this book to one of the highest spots on my Must Read list for 2009:

Having fled shortly after the pandemic, Pax now returns to Switchcreek fifteen years later, following the suicide of Jo Lynn. What he finds is a town seething with secrets, among which murder may well be numbered. But there are even darker-and far weirder-mysteries hiding below the surface that will threaten not only Pax’s future but the future of the whole human race.

Mmmmm…a town with mutants and deep-dark secrets. Sign. Me. Up!

Read on for a few TV shows worth watching (or Hulu-ing) this Fall as well as a couple movies I’m looking forward to.

Every writer has his dream book, the one he’d love to write but they know they probably never will.

Or, as Clive Barker once told me, “There are poems that poets write, and there are the ones they talk about in pubs.”

For me, it’s The Survivors Club — the one that I’m destined to talk about in pubs.

I only tell you this because I trust you. It’s late, getting close to last call. What’s a little confidential shop talk between friends?

Okay, that’s not entirely true. I’m never going to write The Survivors Club because I know in my heart that, barring some miracle of talent enhancement, I’ll probably never be able to pull it off. Not to mention the legal practicalities of…well, you’ll see.

Boiled down to its essence, the story is this. Regular guy meets a nice girl in New York City. Asks her out. They start dating, Things are going great. And after a year or so, he decides to take the plunge and asks her to marry him. She’s head-over-heels for the guy and says yes.

There’s just one silly little thing, it’s really not a big deal at all, but she asks if she can introduce him to her friends.

Our guy says that he’s already met her friends. They’ve been dating for a year now, after all. No, the girl says, these are her other friends — her very closest friends, five other women that she meets every month for drinks. She hasn’t mentioned them to him before because, well, it’s a sensitive issue. And up till now she’s wanted to respect their privacy.

So he goes to meet her friends. And they are:

Laurie Strode. Nancy Thompson. Sally Hardesty. Kristy Cotton. And Alice Anderson.

The sole survivors from the original Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hellraiser and Friday the 13th.

The survivors club.

Going around the table, our guy recognizes the names. Of course he does. These women are pop culture heroines. Survivors of urban legends. Goddess of the summer camp slaughter, the road trip from hell, the babysitting nightmare gone horrifically wrong. Up till now he always thought that they were just characters in movies.

Let’s say that I was walking along the beach in Malibu one summer afternoon with the surf lapping zestfully at my bare feet, and I came across a lamp washed up on shore, and rubbed it the way you’re always supposed to do, releasing a genie who chose to express his or her gratitude by granting me three wishes, I know exactly what I’d start with.

Not a million bucks.

Not the promise of safety and longevity and good health for me and mine.

Not even the old childhood favorite, a wish for three more wishes.

No, I think I’d blindside that genie with three wishes that I’m pretty sure nobody’s ever asked for in the history of lamp-rubbing.

A) Access to a film crew and director with an unlimited budget.
B) A guaranteed automatic greenlight from the studio of my choice.
C) Complete remake rights to the John Hughes film library.

Not that I’d ever wish to remake any of the John Hughes movies that filled my own adolescent experience with moments so real that half of them seemed to have actually happened to me. Hell, no. I love those movies, and their setups are so perfect that any attempt to redo them straight would necessarily be doomed to failure.

No. I want to re-imagine them.

As horror movies.

Now just hear me out. My theory is this. If John Hughes had stuck around long enough in Hollywood, instead of pulling his post-Curly Sue J.D. Salinger act, I think he would’ve been a whole lot happier if he’d made at least one balls-out screamfest. Who knows? He actually might have made a good one. But since he didn’t, (I’m not counting Weird Science, and neither should you) we’re forced to imagine how much more mind-bogglingly awesome his greatest movies would have been, if they’d transcended from teen angst into a flat-out limbic-system overload of horror.

Why? Because, unlike almost all the directors and screenwriters cranking out slasher movies in the late 70s and 80s, Hughes could actually write credible teenagers. His kids were funny, canny, sympathetic and utterly familiar. All they lacked was a guy with a machete.

We’re quickly closing in on our one year anniversary and thought it’d be kinda fun to take a look back at our most popular posts during that time.

1. The Top 10 Horror Movies of 2008

We’re starting to get used to the fact that this page will just be the most popular thing on this site (save for the library and homepage). Matt Schwartz counts down 10 of the best horror flicks to debut on the silver screen in 2008. By the looks of things, this has become your default list as well. If you’re one of the few who haven’t found this one, give it a look and get ready to leave the lights on for a while - there are some really scary stuff here.

2. In Defense of George R. R. Martin

If you’re a fan of Martin’s then you surely have an opinion on the time between his books. Shawn Speakman weighed in with this well-thought out article about writing, fandom, and if a contract exists between writer and reader.

3. The Real Fantastic Stuff, an essay by Richard K. Morgan

Here’s one that really got the blood boiling in some of our readers. Richard K. Morgan wrote a short essay on one of the forces that interested him in writing a work of fantasy. That force? The belief that Tolkien, considered a master of the genre, could have done even more with his writings. Then the conversation erupted. Check out the article and the comments in one of our most controversial posts to date.

4. Our George R. R. Martin April Fool’s Day Post

Hoo-boy, here’s a post that was meant as a convincing April Fool’s Day joke that might have been a little too convincing for some people. Most readers picked up on the trick, but even so, this is the first (and only, to my knowledge) that we decided to slap a disclaimer on. Remember, this one is only a joke.

5. The Temeraire series: Looking forward to Book 6

If you ask me, one of the coolest things about Suvudu is the chance to get sneak peeks into upcoming books, behind-the-scenes stuff, or other access that’s otherwise a little more difficult to come across. Here’s on example, Betsy Mitchell wrote about the upcoming Temeraire book (#6) with a short look at what sets the book up and a little bit about Naomi’s research in Australia. Some really cool pictures from Naomi’s trip also feature in the article. Pretty cool, if you ask me.

We interrupt our normal Suvudu feed to bring you a piece of shameless self-promotion that’s all about me, me, me. Well, not entirely about me. But mostly.

In addition to my Suvuduesque duties, I run a monthly film series in New York City called the Shocklines Film Series which gives New Yorkers a shot to see excellent horror films on the big screen that never got wide theatrical distribution.

This Saturday night, we’re showing 7 short horror films. They’re not on cable. They’re not on DVD. They’re not on YouTube. So if you want to see them, this is your shot. And four of them are based on outstanding horror short stories by critically acclaimed authors, including Joe Hill (of Heart Shaped Box fame), Ed Gorman, and Peter Crowther.

So come check it out. You can get further film details and ticket info at http://www.shocklinesfilms.com. Hope to see you and many other Suvuduers there!

The films:

• Pop Art, written and directed by Amanda Boyle, based on the short story by New York Times bestseller Joe Hill. Winner of the the audience award for narrative short at the Austin Film Festival.
  
• Treevenge, directed by Jason Eisener and produced by Rob Cotterill. Winner of the audience award at the New York City Horror Film Fest, and the audience award at the Fantasia Film Festival.
  
• Eater, written and directed by Matt Duffer and Ross Duffer, based on the short story by Peter Crowther.
  
• Abraham’s Boys written and directed by Dorothy Street, based on the short story by New York Times bestseller Joe Hill.
  
• Side Effect, written and directed by Liz Adams. Winner of Best Screenplay award at the Chicago Horror Film Festival and Best Short.
  
• The Ugly File, written by Rick Hautala, directed by Mark Steensland, based on the short story by Ed Gorman. U.S. Premiere!
  
• Storm, written by Ron McGillvray, directed by Jeff Radbourne.

Horror fans aren’t going to want to miss this new fake movie trailer from FunnyOrDie.com, featuring Christopher Lloyd in “Gobstopper” — clearly a cross between “Willy Wonka” and “Hostel.” Sadly, I’d pay to see an actual film like this in a heartbeat. I’m that eager to see Christopher Lloyd returning to big-screen villainhood in the vein of his Judge Doom portrayal from “Who Framed Roger Rabbit.”

We’ve all been there. You’re sitting with friends, talking about movies you love, and you mention a great flick, and everyone else groans. Then you feel like slime and question your own judgment. Well, I’m here to tell you — we’re not taking it anymore! Yes, there are horror films where I’m the only one in existence who loves them — and that’s okay. If everyone else in the world is too blind to see the unheralded genius of my favorite movies, then they’ll have to sleep at night knowing they’ll never experience the joy and bliss that I have had. But I feel it’s my God-given mission to at least spread the word of these films to those who may never have even given them a shot. There’s no need to thank me — it’s what I was put on this earth to do. So let’s get down to business, looking at some of the horror films that I love — even if no one else out there does.

Raising Cain (1992)

Okay, I’ll admit it — when I first saw this nasty/funny flick by Brian De Palma, starring John Lithgow in multiple roles and Lolita Davidovich as his unfaithful wife, I was not a fan. I found it derivative of his previous flicks, and just slightly odd. Upon watching it a second time, I realized that that’s the point — while it was advertised as a horror movie, it’s actually much more of a satire on De Palma himself, borrowing elements from previous films and bringing them to their ludicrous extremes. This is probably most obvious in a hilarious five-minute single unbroken tracking shot following Frances Sternhagen walking through a police station that, for no apparent reason, looks like a luxurious shopping mall. And yet, even on a thriller level, the film does work wonders, thanks to Davidovich putting in a whopper of a performance that actually has you generating considerable sympathy for an unpleasant character. On top of all that — you get Gabrielle Carteris — that’s right, gang, Andrea “I’m 30 playing 16” Zuckerman from the original 90210 - playing a slutty babysitter who spends too much time hanging out by public restrooms. This film is genius. Genius, I tells ya!

No one — and I mean no one — is more psyched for the 3-D remake of “My Bloody Valentine” coming to theaters next week. I’ve been always been a big fan of 3-D, and the new technology makes it eye-poppingly smooth and headache-free. And as a horror-lover, I can’t think of any better use for the technology than to ensure that I have countless sharp objects and body parts leaping off the screen at me.

And lest you think the 3-D horror boom is beginning and ending with MBV, think again — 2009 alone will see two more presumably R-rated 3-D horror flicks. “Piranha 3-D” directed by the excellent Alexandre Aja and “Final Destination: Death Trip 3-D.” I’m practically having a bloodgasm just thinking about it!

But before getting too excited, I need to remind myself of the 3-D horror boom in the ’80s. This same rush to mix blood and technology happened then with greatly varying results.

So let’s hop in our time machine, put on our cruddy plastic 3-D glasses, and see just how those ’80s 3-D horror movies stacked up….

It’s been a helluva year for horror movies. I count more than 32 horror movies I saw in the theater this year — not bad for a genre that gets no attention. But before we count down the best of the best, let’s take a look at some hot trends this year:

• Movies based on beloved books: Box office was mixed, but it was a great year if you loved faithful book-to-film transformations including Let the Right One In, Red, The Ruins, Blindness, and of course, Twilight.


• Zombies: From a box office perspective, zombies didn’t burn up the box office, but that didn’t stop plenty of films from using them, such as The Signal, Diary of the Dead, and Otto (or Up With Dead People). And while the folks in Quarantine aren’t technically zombies, let’s face it — it’s a zombie flick.


• Remakes: On the other hand, with a ton of remakes this year, all did fairly well at the box office except one (sorry, Funny Games). But still — moviegoers who hated subtitles were treated to remakes of The Eye, One Missed Call, Mirrors, Funny Games, and Quarantine. And this trend ain’t going anywhere — 3 remakes will arrive in the first six weeks of 2009.


• Hand-Held Documentary Style: Many people hate to see ‘em, but 2 of the 3 this year were box office hits, so don’t expect them to go away. Cloverfield was a smash, and Quarantine hit pretty big too. Only Diary of the Dead didn’t take off.

meat-trained [meet·trānd], verb: the action of dumping a horror movie into a handful of obscure second-run theaters to fulfill a contractual obligation. i.e., Did you see Rogue? It was sweet. Too bad it got meat-trained.

But enough of that. Now onto the top 10 horror movies of the year, starting with #10.

#10. The Strangers

Writer/director Bryan Bertino instantly made himself a talent to watch with this creepy, genuinely scary debut. While the ad campaign and an unnecessary opening-movie crawl removed some of the suspense, it still had audiences screaming, particularly in the first half. A refreshing lack of score did a great job of making you feel you were there, in the house, waiting for the strangers to make their next move. Rumor has it Bertino is already on board for a Strangers sequel, but we’re more eager to see his next original creation, Alone.

The top 9 films after the jump.

This past weekend horror fans were treated to the 7th annual New York City Horror Film Festival, and it was a doozy. Featuring a wide range of full-length films and shorts, it weaved a bloody spectrum across all subgenres and styles. Among the highlights were a hilariously sick Christmas-themed short called “Treevenge” and the return of Frank Henenlotter (“Frankenhooker”, “Brain Damage”, “Basket Case”) with the mind-blowingly insane full-length feature “Bad Biology.”

But the nicest surprise may have been a full-length sci-fi/horror film called “Alien Raiders” which is heading straight to DVD in February courtesy of Warner Home Video. Shot on a tiny budget, the film features genuine suspense and impressive acting, blending elements of “The Hidden” and “The Thing” into a lean, mean thriller that revs its engine about 10 minutes in, and never lets up until the final frame.

“Alien Raiders” stars Carlos Bernard (of “24” TV fame) and is directed by Ben Rock, who knows scary low-budget horror, having worked on “Blair Witch Project.” If you’re the type to normally skip straight-to-DVD movies, don’t make the same mistake here. Buy it, rent it, Netflix it — just check it out. Rock is definitely one to keep an eye on.

Trailer below.

It used to be that January was a dumping ground for movies — especially horror movies. That changed in 2008, when a killer marketing campaign propelled “Cloverfield” to massive opening numbers, and what will probably be the highest grossing horror movie of the year.

So suddenly, 2009 is packed wall-to-wall with horror movies. And not just any horror movies — movies that are highly anticipated. I’m already carving out major time in January to make sure to not miss any of these.

First up, the “8 Films to Die For” series has moved from October to January. 8 horror films showing various times in 7 days. In other words, I see about 4000 calories of popcorn being ingested in that time period. Of the films scheduled, be sure not to miss “From Within,” which is a genuinely creepy tale of a suicide virus that hits a small town’s teen population.

Now onto the major releases:

The Unborn — January 9,2009
Seriously, this trailer scares the hell out of me. And I don’t scare easily. Here’s hoping the trailer isn’t the entirety of the good moments. But I’ll be first on line to see this. In fact, I’m going to go get in line right now.

More January horror trailers after the jump (and vote for which one you’re digging the most)…